Rest Is Revolutionary

In a go-go-go culture, we have become so accustomed to being busy and “productive” that it is hard to truly experience deep relaxation. During the pandemic many of us slowed down and enjoyed not having so many things on our calendars.  Since the world opened up again, it seems the activity has even surpassed where we were before.  It’s as if we had to make up for the “downtime” we had by doing even more. As a result, many people I talk to nowadays are feeling seriously burned out and have hit a wall when it comes to the post-pandemic flurry of activity.

So what does really slowing down mean?  And why should we care?  Well, for the past 30+ years in the U.S., we have been amping up our work lives to the point of being on steroids.  To a toxic level, I would venture to say.  If you actually step back and look at the frantic pace of so many work environments, it is kind of nuts.  Because it is needlessly and pointlessly frantic.  This approach to work has bred a few generations of workaholic adrenalin junkies who don’t know how to rest or relax.  And it is killing us.  It is no secret that stress leads to heart disease, diabetes, gastrointestinal problems and a host of mental health issues, to name a few.  And being constantly overloaded on a daily basis, many people are starting to get really frayed around the edges. 

Fortunately, in recent years, people have been starting to talk about their struggles with stress and burnout, and they are finding that they are not alone.  But there is another point I believe is important to address here.  In the U.S. we have this persistent belief that things should be hunky dory all the time and that we should always be on our “A-game.”  If we look on social media, everyone is showing off their seemingly perfect lives.  And so when we’re not feeling well or we’re not killing it in all areas of our lives, which by the way is called life, we think there is something wrong with us.

What is wrong is not you, it’s this belief.  So people try to handle things on their own rather than admit they’re not ok, but often that means using substances or some other numbing device.  Or if they do seek out help from a mental health provider, there is often shame in that.  If more of us were able to be open and honest with ourselves first, then friends and family, and even employers, there would be a huge burden, a huge pressure removed. 

So it’s ok to say you’re not ok.  Sometimes in life, trying to stay on top of everything just isn’t possible.  It is time we created a more compassionate society, and that compassion can start with yourself.  We live in a time in which rest is revolutionary, but it wasn’t always this way.  When did we get to the point where it isn’t possible to take a real day off work or when we are expected to answer emails well into the night and on weekends?  9 to 5 used to be a real thing.  No really, people used to stop all work at 5 pm and then have the evening to relax.  What a concept.

The time is now to rethink our priorities and ask, what kind of life do we want to be living?  I know many people feel trapped in a stressful job or in the rat race, but there is always a way out if you are willing to open up your vision to see it.  But even if you don’t see a way to make a change right now, taking a hard look at how you have been living your life and what you have accepted as normal is one of the opportunities of this time.  And in the day to day, there are things that can make a difference as to whether or not you make it through the year with your health and wellbeing intact.

For one, see if you can ease up on expectations you may have set for yourself.  Whether these expectations come from someone else or from yourself, accept that many of them are likely unrealistic and need adjusting.  And these aren’t adjustments you make once and call it a day.  Every day may require new adjustments.  Accept that you may not be on your A-game every day.  Can that be ok?

Let go of guilt that you are letting people down or not pulling your weight.  First of all, taking care of yourself is nothing to feel guilty about.  As the cliché goes, you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first in order to be able to help others or contribute your best.  Often some honest communication about what you need right now can make your boss or family members aware that you need some extra slack.  

And when I talk about slowing down, as much as it is about slowing down your activities, it is also about quieting your mind.  A busy mind is an exhausted, overwhelmed mind.  But there are many ways to let your mind relax, including extra sleep, meditation, daydreaming, or simply letting yourself stare out the window or engage in people watching.  Our minds also quiet down when we are engaged in play, especially with a young child or a pet.  Painting, knitting and listening to music are other ways to let your mind disengage from your worries and your task list.  

Overall, I can’t stress enough how important self-care, self-nurturing and above all self-compassion are for a sustainable lifestyle.  It is time to adjust priorities, and these things should be the priorities. Now may be the time to consider what might be just one simple adjustment you could make to your life today.  Start small, take the risk of slowing down and letting go and see how much better you feel.