And no, I’m not talking about office romances! What I’m talking about is kinship, compassion, and yes, love as an important aspect of work.
In my ongoing exploration of internalized capitalism—the way we adopt the values and pressures of a capitalistic society as our own standards—love is rarely mentioned. Yet bell hooks, in her book all about love, reminds us that this “lovelessness” is part of why so many people feel burned out and unseen, both at work and in society. Employers often prioritize the bottom line over people’s wellbeing, and as hooks writes, “many jobs undermine self-love because they require that workers constantly prove their worth.”
She also says, “Most of us did not learn when we were young that our capacity to be self-loving would be shaped by the work we do and whether that work enhances our wellbeing… Jobs depress the spirit. Rather than enhancing self-esteem, work is perceived as a drag, a negative necessity.”
Even in a job that doesn’t feel caring, there are ways to show yourself more love. That might mean setting boundaries, advocating for yourself, or simply asking for help (especially hard if you’re used to being the self-sufficient one). And it also means bringing intention to how you show up—because the energy we bring to our work matters.
hooks writes:
“Bringing love into the work environment can create the necessary transformation that can make any job… a place where workers can express the best of themselves. When we work with love we renew the spirit; that renewal is an act of self-love, it nurtures our growth. It’s not what you do but how you do it.”
Yes, many workplaces have deep systemic issues. But you still have agency. Small internal shifts—and small actions—can help ease the pain.
So here’s your invitation:
Can you bring more love into your workday? Approach tasks with care. Have compassion, even for those who test your patience. And most important, notice where you’re sacrificing your wellbeing. Take that lunch break. Be honest with your boss. Turn on “Do Not Disturb” after hours.
I realize the whole system needs a major overhaul. But start where you are. Even setting the intention can spark surprising change. And if it feels impossible right now, that’s okay too. You may see something new when you least expect it.